Ortiz-Ratke
Thermal Bandages
Have you just been awoken after being reconstructed from nothing more than a few bone fragments?
Are you now on the run from the law while trying to stop the Universe from ending?
Are you chilly?
Even if none of the above are true, it sounds like you need some Thermal Bandages. Thermal Bandages are the latest product from Ortiz Ratke designed to protect your nether-regions from everything from a light breeze to a category 5 hurricane. Not only that, but they're soft and throughly absorbant.
What's more, Thermal Bandages make excellent accessories. They compliment any ensemble, as you can see by looking at our wearing suggestions. Here are some ideas to whet your appetite:
- Headscarf
- Shawl
- Hair Extensions
- Bracelets
- Garters
- And Many, Many More!
Get your Thermal Bandages today before they're all gone. We only have a limited quantity.
(Oh, and you can also wipe your arse with them. It's up to you really).
